i never felt this way before

this feeling is so overwhelming

could it be love?

could it be the fact of reality that one day you will leave?

could it be the fact that i’m afraid to go a day without talking to you?

i don’t understand what you’re doing to me.

you’re finding out all of my secrets i have kept hidden for a lifetime

why are you figuring me out?

this is too much to bear

this feeling that i have

is so unreal

i finally let go of someone i didn’t want

but i want you…

only you…

your heart

….

Baby…

I never felt the way I do with you with someone else

The fact that I actually trust you

is unbelievable 

I trust you even though you are four hours away

Even though I cannot see you everyday

And.. I haven’t wrote about anything or anyone in forever…

and you bring out the best in me

it’s unbelievable

I wrote this because i’m afraid to tell you how I really feel

and I want you to know what I feel for you is really real.

One day I will read this to you…

But I don’t know when because i don’t know if you’ll be ready for the truth

about how i fucking feel for you.

I never had someone like me as much as i like them.

It’s a wonderful feeling, 

and not having you in my future is unbearable 

All of this happened so unexpectedly….

When I fell for you.

You made me feel alive

You lit up my world

You made me smile

You got through all those walls I built up

Just to get to me..

You put my heart back together

You make me believe in love

I want you

and NOBODY else.

You help me strive for my dreams

You believe in me

You kept your promises

You understand me

And you never lie….

I trust that you won’t ever let me down

This is why i fell for you, Naomi

 I love you.

Why is it so hard for me to he happy? I mean what did I ever do that I dont deserve happiness …I haven’t hurt anybody that bad… I try to do things that will help with my depression, but it always comes creeping up on me. I hate the feeling of being lonely , it seems like everyone I met and was with hurt me….and I can’t find anybody that fits FOR ME…I dont understand if this is Gods way of punishing me of something or what, but it really is the worse feeling ever . Im not content with myself, and I try to see the brighter side of the picture but I just can’t. Friends dont exist in my eyes, lovers dont exist. Its like im invisible …im unapproachable, &no one likes talking to me or speaking to me. I just wish I had a brighter spirit ….like everyone else… and try to forget all the people that have hurt me. Because it seems like everybody is happy with the way things are and how THEY are; and inside im suffering. *sigh* I dont know, I guess everything happens for a reason.

Not that anyone cares… but…yeah.